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Recently, I found a very well-documented case of an incel on the channel of an excellent YouTuber named Jessicur (this is a link to her video). The guy’s last username is « Blackpilled Joker. » I mean, can you get any more outrageous or cliché? I don’t think so.

(Warning: I no longer embed YouTube videos on the page; it slows down the loading too much. You’ll have to click on the cleverly hidden links.)

Quick catch-up on incels

(For the person in the back who hasn’t been following.)(Well done, really!)

I don’t think I need to define « YouTube » or « Jessicur. » But why does the username « Blackpilled Joker » make me laugh so hard? Because in two words, this person has managed to concentrate the essence of the absolute cringe of the redpill and incel movement, which is an achievement in itself.

The blackpill, we’ve already talked about it: a reference to *The Matrix*, a film created by trans women (sweet irony), which suggests that the scales fall from our eyes to reveal the pitiful reality of the modern world: this world belongs to the strongest. The Joker is the image, no, the icon, of this movement. Disillusioned, violent, he restores justice by doing evil. In short: the world hates us, let’s kill the world before it kills us. They can’t go alone. Spapossib.

In a nutshell, incels are men convinced that these few unchecked boxes on the Alpha Male list make them subhuman, incapable of meeting the perfect woman. You remember Elliot Rodger, who killed 6 people in 2014 because he couldn’t get a date despite his deep misogyny ingrained in his dream body? He’s the king of incels. No, I didn’t just make that up; people actually declared this asshole a hero who fell for the Cause. These guys cause deaths because Wendy rejected them. Seriously.

And if Wendy or Patricia rejects them, it’s because they’re misogynistic and lack the social skills to hide it like most of their Pick-Up Artist counterparts. Incels can’t lie about women: they’re sexist, they show it, and they complain that Brigitte from accounting ignores them while they spend their time harassing her much less subtly than they think.

The last point is hard for me to say, but we also need to acknowledge that most incels are « on the spectrum »: either neurodivergent or suffering from mental illness. We’re not generalizing, of course, so let’s say I’m talking here about those who kill. I wasn’t talking about masking for nothing earlier.

So, that’s NOT the reason. The reason could be social conditioning, this need to find companionship at any cost, false ideas about women, and above all, the deep hatred felt toward them. Neurodivergence and mental illness, especially when untreated, only exacerbate these traits, which are reinforced in the infinite mirror of their community.

Several articles address the subject from different angles here, with the most important ones in bold, relative to today’s topic (in french):

Here is our specimen of the day:

Marshall Mathers the 4th (Eminem song) or Isaac Holmes. Yes, he’s scary. Yes, that’s probably one of the reasons he doesn’t get dates. I already feel like he’s trying to kill me with his eyes.

And honestly, he could be good-looking, but no. He’s scary. In terms of looksmaxxing, he’s not bad; he should change communities!

In reality, I’m not scared; I’ve seen that look before. It’s a very old story from middle school and high school. Twins who vaguely resembled him. Drugs. One of the twins goes to the great beyond, leaving his brother alone. This brother tried to sexually assault me late one night. But he had THAT look when he realized I was defending myself. Like a deep incomprehension of life, perpetual astonishment. Out of sync.

Deep down, I feel sad for him filming his videos in the garden. We’ll talk about it again.

I can’t help it. My empathy kicks in. While Elliot Rodger was an insufferable little asshole, Isaac seems deeply unhappy all the time.

And he says so. He thinks about suicide every day (me too, but I don’t want to kill anyone, not even you, Isaac); he suffers psychologically in an intense way. I feel it in my gut; I know this abominable pain. Either he internalizes the pain and kills himself, or he seeks revenge and kills himself after killing others. He will never understand, even if I wish he did, that his own value is something he defines himself. I wish I could tell him that everything will be okay, that he’s just lost, like all these guys who are scared.

I have empathy for some of them, yes. It’s okay. If I didn’t have empathy, I might be one of them.

No, I wouldn’t be one of them. I’m not a white supremacist; let’s stop the empathy here. To do that, I have an interview with this guy via YourFavoriteSon. It’s extremely painful to listen to, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do, to chase away the empathy and get back on track.

This person expresses unbearable views about women, otherness, and life. He thinks he has it all figured out, but he’s only distancing himself, video after video, from humanity.

Incels love real women

They think they’re unique, special, but they’re just a pitiful legion of insecure guys with a single mindset (and that’s sad).

You have to admit, their criteria are precise. With a clear preference for minors, so malleable as they are. It’s probably a matter of survival, as women over 30 would likely reject this type.

Age is just a number (R. Kelly, I believe I can fly, but actually no), except when you’re over 20. No, because I bet I could fold him in four just by looking at him. They’re afraid of adult women. I wonder why. Probably because many of us have survived violence. Plus, we can have babies—supernatural power!

The thing is, even if they’re pitiful, as we’ve seen, they can act.

What struck me first about Isaac Holmes is that he lives with his parents (he has the right to, who cares) but goes outside to record himself.

What struck me next is that he is quite clearly affected by at least one neurodivergence and very probably a more severe mental disorder.

Hypothesis: his parents, therefore, either didn’t know how to or didn’t want to treat him, like many boomers. If your son doesn’t feel safe enough to express his bullshit, if you yourself don’t react to the aforementioned bullshit, there’s a big problem that can’t be solved with shouting or beating.

I don’t necessarily blame the parents, but yes, a little. Your son being unpleasant, weird, or smelly is one thing. Assholes come from balanced families; anything can happen. But here, I perceive illness after a few hours of watching. You’ve spent your whole life with your child.

If Isaac goes into the garden, it’s because his parents know very well what his discourse is and are simply pushing him away instead of helping him. Can you imagine seeing your child on camera saying he wants to kill himself every day? Shit, shit, and shit.

Ableism and psychophobia hinder care.

When you’re a minor, you depend on your parents for treatment. If your parents hide the situation, there’s a good chance you’ll develop comorbidities like chronic depression. We have quite a few parents of neurodivergent children here; I think we can agree that the early years are crucial for helping our children.

You know my son is ADHD/ASD. He suffers from self-esteem issues, which sometimes causes him to have outbursts and anger. He struggles to manage his emotions. But we’re moving forward together. We’ve reassured him, and he’s seeing a psychologist. This low self-esteem doesn’t come from nowhere, and we’re partly responsible. So let’s fix it.

Often, especially in countries where everything is expensive and without real social security, parents think they can solve their children’s problems with lots of prayer and punishment. And surprise, surprise, it doesn’t work.

Or they let it go and willfully turn a blind eye, like some mothers who shout, « But he’s so nice! » in court. I don’t know how this person was raised. However, I know enough about the ravages of a lack of psychiatric care to not be surprised by his views.

Yes, I’m off-topic, but as a mother, I have to say it’s disheartening.

His views, precisely.

Go on, guess his political leanings.

There’s no trick; he’s firmly on the far right. I don’t know if his shaved head is related, but he, like many (all?) incels, is a white supremacist. We’ll talk about that specifically another time; I feel like I’m going off on a tangent. It’s been a while since I wrote, and we just spent 10 years on neurodivergence, okay, fine.

According to him, the white man is unjustly trampled by all these stupid woke things. If he doesn’t get dates, it’s because women are disgusting with their breasts and high heels.

You put mist in my glasses,
You made me an animal,
Ginette,
Make me jump through your hoop!

(Kisses to the Quebecois)

Listening to Isaac speak is always a bit nauseating. A bad taste of acid reflux instead of a real acid trip. Lame.

He hates everything and everyone; hatred is what keeps him standing. He is his own first object of hatred and contempt. His feeling of not belonging has created a person who masks his anger and shame behind a strong desire for destruction. Destroy others to avoid imploding, to forget that you’re a rotten guy in a world of rotten guys.

If I’m telling you about this, it’s also for another reason.

For his attraction to minors.

We’ve seen it: a 17-year-old girl has fewer tools to defend herself against this kind of lowlife. And I know this well; I had 3 relationships with adults between the ages of 12 and 16. But we’ll talk about that another time. In any case, I had zero defenses, especially since I had already been « prepared » by the abuse inflicted on me before I was 12. The cold chain was not broken!

It took me a while to understand why Americans were so shocked by a relationship at 17.

Because the age of consent is 18 in the US.

In France, it’s 15. A small caveat with this article from the Planning Familial, which clarifies the nuances.

For everyone, it’s cultural; it’s so normalized that we’ve completely internalized the fact that at 17, you can consent without legal repercussions. Effectively, it’s cultural: we’re the country of good wine, cheese, and the normalization of pedophilia. I’m having a hard time finishing « L’Enfant Interdit » by Pierre Verdrager because it’s psychologically taxing to see how I, a child of the ’80s, was a victim of the idea that a child can consent at any age.

The history is:

– 1832: 11 years old
– 1863: 13 years old
– 1945: 15 years old
– 1970: Beginning of attempts to annul laws on the age of consent
– 1977: Jean-Paul Sartre, Roland Barthes, Simone de Beauvoir, Gilles and Fanny Deleuze, Francis Ponge, Philippe Sollers, Jack Lang, Bernard Kouchner, Louis Aragon, André Glucksmann, François Châtelet, Félix Guattari, and Patrice Chéreau, Daniel Guérin sign a tribune defending people detained for rape of minors in a Le Monde article that you can find here (link).
– 1977: Open letter, same thing, but the archive is available on Françoise Dolto’s website, and I found it so sinister that I’m giving you the link. Here.

Small note: it’s not the same story for homosexual relationships.

Coq au vin, champagne, and rape culture

My idea of Isaac is clear: this guy should not approach a woman, let alone a minor. But in France, he could catch a young girl, tak tak, if he manipulates her well, nothing will happen to him. And that bothers me.

Not necessarily the question of the age of consent. We talk a lot about American puritanism; I agree a little.

It would be bearable…if French cisgender men had a shred of honor.

You don’t have to look far: which morality scandals made the biggest headlines? Those where young actresses were raped by old directors. Did you notice the recurring age of 14 in the complaints? It’s difficult to defend a case if you’re over 15. And when you’re under 15, nothing is guaranteed.

Why don’t we have mass shootings and incels as harmful as those across the Atlantic? Several reasons.

The first is that, in general, you can’t carry a gun in France. At least, they’re not sold by the crate at the corner store.

Next, the near-free healthcare and the possibility of getting treatment at all make us a little less desperate. I say near-free because an ADHD assessment in Paris costs over €1,000. Institutional violence exists, medical violence exists, and psychophobia rages just as much elsewhere.

But one of these reasons is that predators are not punished. Here, a man who wants to sleep with a 15-year-old girl can do so without facing penalties or prosecution. No need to complain; when you can groom at will. So Isaac could go to France and become one of those abusers that a young woman might think she can save.

Yeah, right.

If you look around, you’ll realize that the incel phenomenon is not just an American fabrication. If you examine your exes, your suitors, those who hit on you or harassed you, you’ll find this twin who got lost in life and tries to undress a 16-year-old in their sleep while being 26…

Look closely. Look closely. Are we spared?

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